Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A Fae's View Of Chronoportal Lore

The following is Lyriana's take on the EQ1 anniversary event in EQ2, which has added a few mini-instances containing some famous mobs from the original game. The devs have stated that this event has no ties to the lore, so Lyriana decided to help out with a little retcon work. Any glaring lore errors are due to my extremely limited knowledge of Norrath. If you think you catch me making not-so-subtle references to a certain other game, you've been reading too long. :)

 "Did I get that about right?" Lyriana asked, as she finished attempting to repeat the gibberish that the Erudite Chronographer had been spewing at her for the last ten minutes.

"Other than completely mangling terminology that has been carefully crafted through hundreds of years of Arcano-temporal scholarship?" the mage retorted in an inpatient voice.  "Yes, I suppose that will do.  So you'll help then?"

"Not even if you tore my wings off!" Lyriana exclaimed angrily.  "We have Chrono-Porto-things sending people back hundreds of years into Norrath's past, and you'd like to send an invasion force of adventurers through to try and best the toughest champions history has to offer, back from the grave, all so you can analyze what the planar energy does to the old platinum coins?  No thanks, I have a strict policy that if someone comes to me with the stupidest idea I've ever heard, I say no, and you just made the bottom of the list!"

Lyriana stormed off muttering about crazy Erudite plans under her breath.  "Like it's MY fault that I asked one of them a simple question about how to absorb the power of a Mythical weapon, and they turned around to develop a technique that would allow some crazed dragon god thing to absorb world-threatening powers off of the signature blades of Qeynos and Freeport?  And now... oh dear gods a talking otter."

"Hail to you, adventurer," the Othmir said, raising a paw.  "I have come to take the chosen ones of Norrath to Velious."

Lyriana cupped her hands over her nose and mouth and took two deep breaths.  "Let me guess," she began, exasperated, "You came through some sort of Chrono-Rift from hundreds of years ago when people actually went to Velious, and now you're going to establish some sort of time foothold thing."

The othmir looked at her, puzzled.  "What is a Rift?  I assure you, Velious is real and still in the world today."

"If that's the case," Lyriana asked, skeptical, "Why hasn't anyone seen the place in centuries?  How are you proposing to get us 'chosen' folks there, anyway?"

"Easy," the emissary exclaimed, pleased to finally have a question he could answer.  "We shall ride on the back of the mighty Lodizal."

"The legendary giant turtle that adventurers used to fight centuries ago?" Lyriana asked, incredulously.  "That's the stupidest...."

She thought about it for a minute and sighed.  "You see, I have this policy about world threatening stuff and apparently this whole rift thing has gotten to the point where it's not at the bottom of the list anymore.  So I'll tell you what - I'm going to go try to deal with that, and if this doesn't send all of you crazies back to whatever age you came from, we can talk."

Not a death rift.


Magson said...

Yeah, that's me too. I've canceled my EQ2 account for now while Rift is my higher priority. I've seen maybe 10 of the solo quests in Velious and a failed instance run and that's it. TBH, I haven't even really thought about logging in to EQ2 since Rift came out.

I'm sure I'll go back sooner or later, but for now... it's Rift all the way for me.

Green Armadillo said...

Ironically, I'm actually doing the opposite. I just subbed up to EQ2 for the month, and I'm letting my Rift sub lapse. The odds are that this situation will be reversed in a few months (or maybe even just one if that's how long the Velious quests last me) but right now I was just more curious about EQ2 than levels 36-50 of Rift.